Two Chinese Weddings and a Cabbage
Frederick and I were
invited to two weddings in Beijing during the month of October. It must be an auspicious month to wed,
because we have lived in China for 2 years and these are our first invitations! We were quite fascinated to see how a Chinese
wedding would unfold. The first was the
wedding of the son of one of the Chinese asthma doctors we’ve been working
with. She is a widow, but, as we
discovered at the wedding, she has a “friend,” who was very present at the
ceremony, carrying bottles of wine, and, because he spoke some English, taking
care of us. This wedding was held
outside in the rural suburbs of Beijing at some sort of “event” center. The “friend” picked us up and drove us there
– 1 ½ hour drive.
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We were ushered into
a waiting room to await the festivities. Here is Frederick with the bride’s
hair dresser who is apparently worried about catching germs!
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After about an hour
in the waiting room, we were given the word to appear outside and caught our
first glimpse of the bride with her bridesmaids.
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We follow the signs
to the wedding. And find ourselves signing the guestbook.
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The wedding venue is
lovely and the weather is gorgeous.
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And the ‘Minister” welcomes the audience. Actually he a Master of Ceremonies (MC) – nothing religious in a Chinese wedding!
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The groom then runs
down the aisle to claim his bride and they walked up the petal-strewn path to
the “alter” together. (The “alter” was
an arrangement of champagne glasses!)
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Something we’d never
seen before was a “dance” performed by the groom, groomsmen, and the
bridesmaids, welcoming the bride to her wedding. (Reportedly inspired by a YouTube video!)
The groom with his
hand over his heart is making his commitment to his bride. She did likewise.
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He places a ring on
her finger. Traditionally the Chinese do
not wear wedding rings, but that is changing.
And, of course, the
kiss! (Also not traditional, but it
happened at both weddings! Hmm.)
What was in that big
gold box? – balloons to celebrate the occasion!
The traditional part
– bride presents tea to her new mother-in-law, showing her respect. Likewise, the groom pours tea for the bride’s
mother, his new mother-in-law.
Fred is called on to
give advice to the new couple. Teachers
and relatives also offered their suggestions for a long and happy
marriage. (Frederick can’t remember what
he said!)
The champagne toast
at the “alter” ends the ceremony.
Now for the throwing
of the bouquet. She’s the lucky recipient!
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Wait, what’s
this? The groom gets to throw a
CABBAGE! A first for us! A young boy
caught it and looked quite mystified! “What’s
so great about a cabbage?”
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Here we are,
congratulating the bride and groom.
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Now on to the
banquet! Notice the bride has changed
into her traditional red dress and is toasting each table of guests! No time for the newlyweds to eat! (Does that
sound familiar?)
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Finally, very
flattering posters of the bride line the walls of the banquet hall.
This wedding was a
fascinating combination of traditional Chinese and Western customs. It seems that young Chinese couples now are
creating their own celebrations, with a nod to tradition, but lots of Western
“stuff” as well. The tea ceremony for
the new in-laws and the continual toasting at the banquet were very
traditional, but white dresses, a ring, and a kiss are Western. However,
dancing before the bride and throwing a cabbage – who knows where they came
from?
The second wedding
was more traditional. The venue was a
restaurant within walking distance of our apartment. Hooray!
The groom was the son of Mr. Xu Xiao-qing from MOA (Chinese Ministry of
Agriculture) friends of Frederick.
This is the wedding
invitation we received. For the first
wedding, the invitation came by “word of mouth.”
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| Wedding invitation |
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